The Ultimate Special Forces Soldier

Yesterday, after we had opened all our presents here at home, the whole family (even Vic…YAY) packed up and headed down to my parents’ house for more gift exchanging and Christmas dinner. Family road trips are always an adventure…and, not for the reasons you might expect. In the Cruz family, road trips often include the most bizarre conversations. While you are involved in them, the conversations seem to make perfect sense. But, when you try and explain them to someone else, it’s often hard to explain how you got from A to B without a detour around Z.

We had one of those experiences yesterday. Somehow, the conversation started innocently enough. We were talking about Christmas and how Santa got in and out of the houses. Then, the conversation turned to politics and the many facets of war. There was also a bit about criminal cases and the apprehension of the guilty parties thrown in. Then, there was the moment that we’ve all come to expect. Marty got that gleam in his eye…the gleam I recognize from seeing it in Vic’s eyes so many times…the gleam that means “You’re not going to believe the shit that comes out of my mouth next.”

Marty said, “You know who would be the perfect guy to hunt down terrorists and bad guys? Santa Claus would be the ultimate special forces soldier.” We all got the worst case of the giggles at the thought. He said, “Seriously, Santa can identify everyone in the world. Santa always knows where everyone is. He would kick ass as an enforcer. After all, you can’t keep Santa out of any location…no matter what your security is. Santa can get anywhere unseen. You never see his sleigh or him in your house. Also, Santa’s elves can make ANYTHING in his workshop. That would mean unlimited weapons.”

I got to thinking and concluded that, scarily enough, he was right. Santa could hunt down any terrorist. Santa could solve any cold case. Santa would be unbeatable. Without further ado, let me introduce you to the ultimate special forces soldier, Santa Claus…

5 Responses to The Ultimate Special Forces Soldier
  1. Battynurse
    December 26, 2012 | 11:50 pm

    Lol! I love it!

  2. Thebluestbutterfly
    December 28, 2012 | 5:40 am

    This was amusing. I hope you had a WONDERFUL Christmas.
    Thebluestbutterfly recently posted..VIGIL AT THE TOPMy Profile

  3. Candi
    December 28, 2012 | 8:41 pm

    By that token, Santa’s could have a special forces team comprised of the Easter Bunny, Great Pumpkin, and St. Patty’s Day Leprechaun!
    Candi recently posted..Baby’s First BrewskiMy Profile

  4. Monique
    December 29, 2012 | 1:11 am

    Haha! Love love love it!
    Monique recently posted..when good intentions go badMy Profile

  5. feeling beachie
    December 29, 2012 | 8:44 am

    well he does know who is naughty and nice…

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