Perfect Moment Monday: We’re All Here

Sometimes, when things are driving you absolutely batshit crazy, you have a moment. Something happens out of the blue to give you a fresh perspective. Something happens to remind you just how blessed you are.

Monday was one of those days.

Honestly, my kids have been driving me batshit crazy this past week. Gabriel is over-tired…constantly…no matter how much sleep he is getting. I think he must be hitting a growth spurt. Either it’s the growth induced sleep deprivation or it might just be 7 yr old-itis. He has been demanding, bossy, rude, and gross. And, Joey…well, he’s a pubert…’nuf said. And, they are both driving Marty crazy. The kids have been sent to bed early multiple times this week.

Monday, I was truly at my wits end. I was at the point where I wanted to beg them to just shut up for 5 minutes…just 5 calm, peaceful minutes. Then, I read Cecily’s post about Downton Abbey, Pre-eclampsia, & PTSD and I was reminded how truly lucky and blessed I am. I’m here. My boys are all here. It could have ended up so very different.

Frankly, my OB history is a horror story. I was pre-eclamptic at the tale end of my pregnancy with Marty. My blood pressure was spiking. I blew up with water retention. My hands were going numb because of the amount of fluid being retained and the pressure it put on the nerves. And, the damn mag used to treat the pre-e stopped my fill term labor in it’s tracks. But, Marty, he was perfect. He came out strong and healthy and wonderful. And, I recovered quickly.

And, Joey, well Joey was a preemie. He was born 4 weeks early. I thought my water had broken but it wasn’t amniotic fluid. It was blood. I wasn’t contracting. I wasn’t dilating. He was so far up that the doc couldn’t even touch his head. I just kept bleeding and we didn’t know why. I went into yet another c-section not even knowing if I’d come out with my fertility intact and just praying he would be ok. The, they couldn’t get the epidural in because Joey was so far up under my ribcage that I couldn’t bend over for the epidural. So, they put me under general anesthesia and Joey was born. He was 4 weeks early, 7 lbs, and 20 inches. He was amazingly strong and only spent 24 hours under an oxygen hood. We went home when he was 4 days old. 4 days later, I was back in the hospital fighting for my life. When they intubated me to deliver Joey, I aspirated (breathed into my lungs) some of the dinner I had eaten before the day went to hell in a handbasket. I was so sick. My blood oxygen level was about 84%…it sucked. But, I responded well to antibiotics and, after a 5 day hospital stay, I finally got to go home to my baby, my son, and my husband.

Then there is Gabriel. Simply getting Gabriel here was a challenge. We lost 6 pregnancies between Joey and Gabe. It took medical intervention, lots of prayers, and a kick-ass doctor to get Gabriel here. Progesterone and twice daily lovenox shots kept the pregnancy going but I still had blood pressure problems for the last 4 weeks or so of the pregnancy. But, it all finally worked.

Marty is here.

Joey is here.

Gabriel is here.

And, so am I.

We all survived against some potentially steep odds.

That’s what reading Cecily’s post did for me. It allowed me to shed the bullshit of the moment. It let me shake off the frustration and the stress. It let me appreciate what I did have right that moment.

I have my boys and they have me.

The moment couldn’t have been more perfect.PMM-2012-12x125Head on over to LavenderLuz.com and check out the latest installment of Perfect Moment Monday.  Maybe you’ll find some inspiration among the many wonderful posts that are linked up.

12 Responses to Perfect Moment Monday: We’re All Here
  1. Christine Seip
    January 31, 2013 | 7:46 am

    Love you guys.

  2. loribeth
    January 31, 2013 | 9:38 am

    Growing up, my mother had made vague comments about “having a hard time” when I was born. It wasn’t until just a few years ago that the word “eclampsia” was used. By then, I had lost my daughter & heard others’ stories and knew what that could mean. I have since heard her say that we’re both very lucky to be here. No kidding. That was 50+ years ago, but I still hear stories via blogs, etc. I am glad your stories also had happy endings.
    loribeth recently posted..Is the unlived life worth examining?My Profile

  3. Mrs. Gamgee
    January 31, 2013 | 10:07 am

    This post made me a little teary. It’s important to remember the journey when we are facing those moments of frustration. The thankfulness comes pouring in.

    ((hugs))
    Mrs. Gamgee recently posted..Ginevra in JanuaryMy Profile

  4. Lori Lavender Luz
    January 31, 2013 | 11:54 am

    I watched that episode, and it was horrifying for me, someone who never even experienced pregnancy.

    I, too, am so glad that you and your boys are here, despite the odds and the difficulties. Thank you for reminding me to focus on what I have rather than what I don’t have.
    Lori Lavender Luz recently posted..Perfect Moment Monday: Love your interruptionsMy Profile

  5. Justine
    January 31, 2013 | 1:01 pm

    Yes … those reminders about giving thanks … I need them, and am so grateful for them. But I also think that it’s OK to feel batshit crazy about what we’ve got. I think that the two feelings — gratitude and frustration — can coexist. And I worry that sometimes ALI survivors, those of us who made it to the “other side,” don’t feel like we can complain … when the reality is … we’re all human.

    Glad you had this perfect moment! And hang in there, amazing woman!
    Justine recently posted..Perfect Moment Monday: A Porch Swing, and MulligatawnyMy Profile

  6. Jjiraffe
    January 31, 2013 | 4:14 pm

    This is a powerful post. I haven’t seen that episode yet because I’m behind in my viewing, but so many of my ALI friends have expressed how deeply it upset them. I’m a little afraid to watch it.

    And I agree with Justine that both of these emotions are something I deal with, often concurrently: frustration and gratitude.
    Jjiraffe recently posted..The Joy of Reading, Part 2My Profile

  7. Hillary
    January 31, 2013 | 4:20 pm

    Wow, you and your babies are amazing! God bless your family.

    My mother told me the stories of her labor; they made me cry for her and realize how fortunate I was, though I still somehow couldn’t avoid the primal screaming I did during labor.

    You are an incredibly strong woman.

    PS I love Downton Abbey – a loyal fan.
    Hillary recently posted..Alcohol ConditioningMy Profile

  8. Alana at Ovuline
    February 2, 2013 | 1:04 pm

    I have a little son and you are right, these kids are all miracles. Sometimes, we are so sleep deprived we forget that!

  9. Tammy and Parker
    February 13, 2013 | 12:07 am

    Kinda how I feel about Parker. We’ve made it. So far at least.
    Tammy and Parker recently posted..How to tell when a Brave Hero is Sick.My Profile

  10. Kiddo Bliss
    February 14, 2013 | 5:04 pm

    Wow! You made it despite some tremendous odds. After reading this I had to pause and give my son a hug.
    Kiddo Bliss recently posted..sex ed, a la Maury styleMy Profile

  11. Elizabeth :: Bébé Suisse
    February 21, 2013 | 2:48 am

    What a story – your feeling of appreciation at the end really does make for a perfect moment. I’m glad you shared.

    Happy ICLW!

  12. Lori
    February 24, 2013 | 12:46 am

    Great story! Here to say hello from ICLW
    Lori recently posted..Join the We Want It Movement and Yyoga GiveawayMy Profile

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