The One Step Forward, Two Steps Back Tango

Photo courtesy of golbenge (골뱅이)

I’m sitting here at almost 2 am and I have no good reason to still be up…no reason except that I can’t make myself go to sleep.I’m in a funk. My brain won’t quit. I seem to be stuck in an endless maze that doesn’t want to let me go.

My oldest is still having issues that are keeping him out of school. No, the issues aren’t insurmountable but we seem to be stuck in a one step forward/two steps back sort of tango and I want to just beat my head against a desk because I can’t fix the problems for him. It fucking sucks when your kids grow past the kiss it and make it better stage. I keep telling myself that we are lucky because his teachers and the school are being fabulous. They are letting him submit assignments electronically. Hell, they are even letting him take tests electronically. But, I feel so helpless, so worthless as a parent right now. My kid, my fabulous, wonderful kid can’t seem to catch a break and, even though I know it isn’t logical, I somehow feel like it’s my fault.

It doesn’t help matters that Vic’s knee and his diabetic neuropathy have been causing him huge amounts of pain, Joey is sick (two nights puking) right now, and Gabe is at the tale end of the cold that would not die. Add in an issue with an adult (scouts related) who feels the need to run an tattle to the Pack Leader, a statement credited to me that I never said, and someone complaining that my kid was the loudest of all the Tiger Cubs (I call bullshit on that) and I’m feeling pretty down in the dumps.

I know staying up gawd awful late isn’t helping the situation. Exhaustion has a way of making everything seem worse but I can’t seem to break the cycle right now. All in all, it’s been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Now, can anyone recommend a cheese to go along with this whine?

16 Responses to The One Step Forward, Two Steps Back Tango
  1. Battynurse
    October 10, 2012 | 2:32 am

    I’m so sorry your in a funk, that your family is having a hard time and all the other little shit getting you down. I hope you get some relief and some sleep soon. Hugs to you.

  2. Delenn
    October 10, 2012 | 6:33 am

    Wishing you strength to get through. As someone who recently danced this dance of life…I hope things get better soon!

  3. Adri
    October 10, 2012 | 7:54 am

    Awww, Buttercup, that sucks. I have no words of wisdom, no silver lining. No kiss and make it better for you either. But, I know you’re a kick ass woman, mama, and wife. Cut yourself some slack and maybe a surprise will pop up on your fb wall.
    Adri recently posted..The Worst MondayTuesday EverMy Profile

  4. Lori Lavender Luz
    October 10, 2012 | 11:05 am

    Any one of the things you’re dealing with would be hard. But add them all together and it’s no wonder you’re exhausted and in a funk.

    Wishing for you a clearing soon. Hugs.
    Lori Lavender Luz recently posted..Breaking HopeMy Profile

  5. Dora
    October 10, 2012 | 3:12 pm

    That is a crazy amount of stuff all at once. And seriously, you are an AWESOME mom!

    I recommend a good, creamy brie. xoxo
    Dora recently posted..You’re Invited! A Virtual Shower For Mo.My Profile

    • Kristin
      October 10, 2012 | 8:06 pm

      Mmmmmmmm, brie. That’s a fine cheese to have with this whine.

      What I said to Lori applies here too…it does help to hear that someone else thinks this is a lot to deal with.
      Kristin recently posted..The One Step Forward, Two Steps Back TangoMy Profile

  6. Another Dreamer
    October 10, 2012 | 4:22 pm

    Oh hun. Sorry things seem to up in the air, cluttered, and weighing you down. I hope that things ease up. Take some deep breaths. You can handle this.

  7. mrs spock
    October 10, 2012 | 6:15 pm

    Ugh! Your poor family has had such a crazy year! Time to catch a break!
    mrs spock recently posted..Surgery Update and Etsy MadnessMy Profile

  8. Esperanza
    October 10, 2012 | 11:02 pm

    Wow, that sounds like a LOT to handle. I’m so sorry you’re going through all that and I hope you get a respite soon.

    Abiding with you.
    Esperanza recently posted..The Choices We MakeMy Profile

  9. CreoleInDC
    October 14, 2012 | 10:52 am

    I would do anything to be able to fix all of this for you.

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