Now You See Me, Part 2

Thanks again to everyone who offered topics and questions for me to write about in response to my In A Rut post. In addition to spreading out the questions and topics, I decided I don’t want to answer them in order.  Today, I’m going to write about the topic suggested by Lori Lavender Luz of Write Mind, Open Heart. Lori said…

Tell us about a time you learned something new.

Those of you who have been around the Lair for a while have probably noticed that I’m a crafty sort. I’ve been sewing since I was about 10.  I first cross stitched in girl scouts but really learned to love it about 24 years ago. And, more than 18 years ago, I learned how to crochet.

I can remember parts of it so clearly. I don’t remember whether it was a work day or the weekend but I do remember the empty look in her eyes and I remember how the vibrant, amazing woman I knew suddenly seemed so small and fragile.  I was out and about that day and I stopped in Hillsborough to visit with my friend Chris…maybe that was even why I was out. Not too very long before  that winter day (a scant few months), I had gone to Chris’ side for a very different reason. Less than a week before Christmas in 1993, I headed to Chris’ side because at 34 weeks into her pregnancy, she lost her 3rd son, Adam. This time, I was on a mission to occupy her, distract her.

On one of my earlier visits, I had idly commented on how much I liked the blanket she was making and I wished I could do it. Honestly, it was idle chatter but Chris heard my comment and offered to teach me. At that point, I figured what’s the harm. Even if I didn’t end up liking it, letting her teach me to crochet would give us something to do together, something to create together, something small to look forward to.  So, on the way to Chris’ house, I stopped by Wal-Mart and bought some yarn and crochet hooks.

I was so clueless. I vastly underestimated the yarn I would need and overestimated the number of hooks I needed. Yeah, I was truly uninformed and thought I needed 2 hooks to crochet. But, it wasn’t just the process I was clueless about. I thought I was doing this for Chris. I thought I was humoring a passing notion. Little did I know I was building one of the lifelines I would need to get me through my losses years later.

Not only did I learn to crochet that winter but I learned to love it. Crochet was one of the crafts I focused on when I needed to be distracted, when I needed to escape, when I needed to focus my mind on counting and stitches and color changes instead of the “Why God, why?” that kept running through my head if I though about my lost babies too long.  And, that grieving friend I hung out with, well, she was there for me through all my losses. She was one person who I knew would understand even when I couldn’t find the words to explain.

That was the winter that I crocheted myself a lifeline.

22 Responses to Now You See Me, Part 2
  1. luna
    September 29, 2012 | 1:36 am

    love love love this post. sniff.
    luna recently posted..perfect moment monday ~ birthday cakeMy Profile

    • Kristin
      September 30, 2012 | 10:56 am

      Thanks Luna. I made myself cry remembering while I wrote this.
      Kristin recently posted..Now You See Me, Part 2My Profile

      • Christine Seip
        January 6, 2013 | 8:35 pm

        You made me cry too <3

  2. knottedfingers
    September 29, 2012 | 1:51 am

    What a wonderful post <3
    knottedfingers recently posted..My Blog NameMy Profile

  3. manapan
    September 29, 2012 | 5:09 am

    I am seriously crying a little.

  4. St. Elsewhere
    September 29, 2012 | 5:28 am

    If not for Lori’s question, I would never have heard this before.

    It is so deep. This connection, this bond is so special, that it will last a lifetime.

    • Kristin
      September 30, 2012 | 10:59 am

      It really is such a special bond.

  5. Pamela
    September 29, 2012 | 9:48 am

    Powerful metaphor… Really felt the emotions.

    • Kristin
      September 30, 2012 | 11:00 am

      Thanks, Pamela. Your writing is so powerful. It means a lot coming from you.

  6. Justine
    September 29, 2012 | 1:01 pm

    Oh, Kristen. Beautiful.
    Justine recently posted..Comfort Me With ApplesMy Profile

  7. gammachris
    September 29, 2012 | 3:06 pm

    St. Elsewhere, you’re right. This connection IS lasting a lifetime, though lately we’re miles apart and busy raising our families. And I had a baby girl after Adam, and her middle name is Kristin, too.
    Though, I have to admit, I left behind the crocheting, and took up knitting instead lol. Love you, Kristin <3

    • Kristin
      September 30, 2012 | 11:04 am

      Chris, I’m so glad you read this. We’ve been through so much together and your friendship means so much to me.
      Kristin recently posted..Now You See Me, Part 2My Profile

  8. Lori Lavender Luz
    September 29, 2012 | 11:53 pm

    The blanket is beautiful. And the story behind it equally so.

    You make me want to take up crocheting. Both my grandmothers did it.

    Here’s to lifelines.

    • Kristin
      September 30, 2012 | 11:06 am

      Thanks, Lori. If you ever decide you really want to learn to crochet, I can give you long distance lessons…skype is a wonderful thing.
      Kristin recently posted..Now You See Me, Part 2My Profile

  9. mrs spock
    September 30, 2012 | 10:08 am

    Wonderful story!I love crochet. Arthritis has been keeping me from doing it, but I treasure the things I’ve been able to make by hand. It’s such a relaxing thing to do.
    mrs spock recently posted..Surgery Update and Etsy MadnessMy Profile

    • Kristin
      September 30, 2012 | 11:17 am

      Thanks Mrs. Spock. Have you tried the lycra gloves that are suppose to help you continue to craft when you have arthritis? My friend Jennifer sayd they help her.
      Kristin recently posted..Now You See Me, Part 2My Profile

  10. Dora
    October 1, 2012 | 4:41 pm

    What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing it.

    And the blanket! Sunshine’s blankie! That blanket kept Sunshine cozy in her carseat and stroller during her first New York Winter. Now it’s her favorite for tucking in her baby dolls to sleep. I still get warm fuzzies every time I look at it. xoxo
    Dora recently posted..Perfect Moment Monday: ConversationsMy Profile

  11. Jjiraffe
    October 2, 2012 | 8:15 pm

    Beautiful post. That last line was really powerful.
    Jjiraffe recently posted..The Beauty of LifeMy Profile

  12. dspence
    January 6, 2013 | 5:32 pm

    Here from CDLC. I love this. And am a fellow crochet enthusiast. My 7-year-old is learning how to crochet, too, commented not too long ago on how it calms her down. I’ve found it to be an excellent conversation starter, too…
    dspence recently posted..So Call Me MaybeMy Profile

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