Thanks again to everyone who offered topics and questions for me to write about in response to my In A Rut post. In addition to spreading out the questions and topics, I decided I don’t want to answer them in order. Today, I’m going to write about the topic suggested by Lori Lavender Luz of Write Mind, Open Heart. Lori said…
Tell us about a time you learned something new.
Those of you who have been around the Lair for a while have probably noticed that I’m a crafty sort. I’ve been sewing since I was about 10. I first cross stitched in girl scouts but really learned to love it about 24 years ago. And, more than 18 years ago, I learned how to crochet.
I can remember parts of it so clearly. I don’t remember whether it was a work day or the weekend but I do remember the empty look in her eyes and I remember how the vibrant, amazing woman I knew suddenly seemed so small and fragile. I was out and about that day and I stopped in Hillsborough to visit with my friend Chris…maybe that was even why I was out. Not too very long before that winter day (a scant few months), I had gone to Chris’ side for a very different reason. Less than a week before Christmas in 1993, I headed to Chris’ side because at 34 weeks into her pregnancy, she lost her 3rd son, Adam. This time, I was on a mission to occupy her, distract her.
On one of my earlier visits, I had idly commented on how much I liked the blanket she was making and I wished I could do it. Honestly, it was idle chatter but Chris heard my comment and offered to teach me. At that point, I figured what’s the harm. Even if I didn’t end up liking it, letting her teach me to crochet would give us something to do together, something to create together, something small to look forward to. So, on the way to Chris’ house, I stopped by Wal-Mart and bought some yarn and crochet hooks.
I was so clueless. I vastly underestimated the yarn I would need and overestimated the number of hooks I needed. Yeah, I was truly uninformed and thought I needed 2 hooks to crochet. But, it wasn’t just the process I was clueless about. I thought I was doing this for Chris. I thought I was humoring a passing notion. Little did I know I was building one of the lifelines I would need to get me through my losses years later.
Not only did I learn to crochet that winter but I learned to love it. Crochet was one of the crafts I focused on when I needed to be distracted, when I needed to escape, when I needed to focus my mind on counting and stitches and color changes instead of the “Why God, why?” that kept running through my head if I though about my lost babies too long. And, that grieving friend I hung out with, well, she was there for me through all my losses. She was one person who I knew would understand even when I couldn’t find the words to explain.
That was the winter that I crocheted myself a lifeline.