Now You See Me, Part 3

I’m still in that rut…still in that slump. So, I’m pulling from the writing prompts y’all gave me. Today, I’m combining two prompts that on the surface don’t seem to be related. Mrs. Spock said she wanted to hear

Crazy Vic stories

and Manapan said

You have three amazing boys. I know there have to have been times they’ve been too adventuresome for their own good. Any suggestions on quelling the dangerous antics without breaking their spirit?

As y’all know, I’m sorely outnumbered around here…3 boys, a husband, and 3 male animals vs. me and my Jolie girl. The testosterone levels around here are through the roof and this means that life is never, ever dull. Honestly you never know what’s going to happen next. And, as much as I try to allow my sons to explore their gentler side by letting them have any type of toy they were interested in, well, toys don’t make the boys.

My oldest wanted a baby doll when he was about 2 years old. After all, his cousin had one and she loved it. In Marty’s world, if his beloved cousin Kayla had a doll, he had to have one too.  But, there were fundamental differences in the way they played with their baby dolls. They both loved on them, cuddled them, and carried them around. But, Marty’s doll had a more adventurous streak. His doll was seen riding kamikaze through  halls in the wagon and jumping from the bed. His doll was also rumored to have a superman streak.

We also had a tea cart, a pretty pink tea cart. Marty and Joey insisted we get that tea cart after a weekend of tea parties with Grandma, Kayla, and Brianne. The boys loved having tea parties with anyone and were thrilled to have that tea cart. But, then they discovered that the wheels meant you could push it really, really fast. That was the day the tea cart took on a secondary roll. From that day on, the tea cart took on an alias of Battering Ram. I celebrated the day the tea cart wheels broke and I could put it out of it’s misery.

As boys got older, they graduated to building ginormous structures and crashing them down. We frequently had vehicle crashes of epic proportion in our living room. And, to my distress, the boys started reveling in things that go boom and huge explosions. Mythbusters became a true favorite in the boys television viewing. These were also the days I started to have a recurring nightmare. I dreamt that I was driving up to our house after a day away. As I drove up, I saw black smoke billowing out of the open windows and the boys and Vic were standing on the lawn, their hair standing on end, laughing their asses off. Despite the lack of clarity in the rest of the dream, I somehow knew the explosion came from their secret lair. Let me tell you, the first time I went away and left the boys alone with Vic, I don’t think I slept well at all.

Photo courtesy of HystericalMark

The sad thing is that the boys come by their wild streak naturally. They get it from their dad. Yup, Vic had a wild streak when he was little and I don’t entirely believe he ever outgrew it.  When Vic was about 6 yrs old, he honed his kamikaze streak to a fine point. One day over at his grandparents’ house, his Superman fantasy took a firm hold on him. He scrambled up on to the roof and prepared for his moment of glory. See, for the previous few months he had been preparing. He checked out exactly how many steps Superman took and which foot he led with and which arm reached for the sky before he launched himself into the air. This was the perfect day to test his research. He even had a Superman cape. Vic copied Superman’s moves exactly and, for about 2 glorious seconds, he was SuperVic. But, the dream crashed to the earth as quickly as Vic did. Abuelo rushed outside and found Vic lying face down on the driveway. He touched his shoulder gently, asked him if he was ok, and, when Vic said yes, Abuelo shook his head, said you’re a moron, and went back inside.

Les than 6 months later, Superman had been displaced in Vic’s affection. Now, it was all about Tarzan.Vic was lucky enough to have a rope hanging from the mango tree outside his grandparents’ house and that rope became a vine and he played Tarzan to his heart’s content.  One day he was out in that tree, swinging away on the rope, and he started thinking. It’s dangerous when a daredevil boy starts thinking. Vic thought “You know, Tarzan swings on vines but he does more than just swing. Tarzan uses the vines to move from one place to another. I wonder if I can swing from the tree to the roof.” Vic was getting pretty close to the house with the rope the way it was. He figured he could make it over if the rope was just a little longer. Sadly, he had a 6 yr old’s grasp of physics. While lengthening the rope would make the swing bigger, it would also make him swing lower…say to the level of the large, lovely plate glass window in his grandparents’ bedroom.  Yup, he made the rope longer, jumped of the branch, and let out a big Tarzan yell that was cut short by his impact with the plate glass window. While the yell was cut short by the window, his swing wasn’t. He went straight through the window and landed on his grandparents’ bed. Once again, Abuelo came running in to check on Vic. But, once again, Vic survived without a scratch. And once again, Abuelo shook his head, told Vic he was a moron, and went back to his daily activities.

With this kind of heritage, I don’t stand a chance of taming my boys’ wild streaks. I just make sure our insurance is kept current and I have a fully stocked, military grade first aid kit and, oh yeah,  I say a bunch of prayers.

4 Responses to Now You See Me, Part 3
  1. manapan
    October 6, 2012 | 8:16 am

    Hahaha!!!! Vic’s Superman phase reminds me of all the time I spent studying Hadji in Jonny Quest, trying to figure out how I could levitate too. I had the headwrap, the jewel, the yoga pose, the chant, but no success. One day when I was also 6 years old (I wonder if 6 is just a crazy age for everyone?), I came up with some fuzzy logic: The song says Jesus loves me. Jesus is God. God is the Father. My father wouldn’t want to see me hurt if he loves me, and God is all powerful. So if I just yank both legs out from under myself at the same time, God will swoop in and save me by allowing a short period of levitation so I don’t bust my butt on the ground. Right? But I figured I only had one shot at it before He’d give up on me. I thought about doing it off our third-story balcony to get more levitation time. Fortunately I was simultaneously testing my hypothesis on the existence of God and decided the couch would be safer, so I only broke my tailbone instead of my everything. 🙂

    And that’s why inability to tame the wild streak is exactly what I was afraid of! If Tatoe gets my wild streak and his father’s ADHD, we’re in for a hurricane. And considering the kid figured out how to climb the baby gates and thinks it’s hilarious to launch himself down a flight of stairs… oy. My insurance guy is going to end up paying out a fortune!
    manapan recently posted..Toddlerhood. It rules.My Profile

  2. Another Dreamer
    October 6, 2012 | 3:44 pm

    Bwahahaha! Seriously though? If I was his mother, I would had a heart attack!
    Another Dreamer recently posted..9 months-My Profile

  3. Sandy
    October 6, 2012 | 8:09 pm

    Oscar is going through such a wild streak right now. He’s obsessed with superheroes and making all of his toys “fly.” Which means throwing them through the air, lol. I’ve tried to convince him to fly things by holding on to them, but he says, “I can’t make them fly fast enough.” 🙂

  4. mrs spock
    October 7, 2012 | 7:28 pm

    Holy crap! That reminds me of my brother and his dumbass friends trying to jump off the roof with only an umbrella to be their “parachute”. That resulted in broken limb #1.
    mrs spock recently posted..Surgery Update and Etsy MadnessMy Profile

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