Three years ago, I wrote about my 6:30 wake up call, about how surreal it seemed seeing Marty off on a major trip without the family. Somehow, in my mind, that trip became symbolically and irrevocably tied to the idea of him going off to college. You would think that 3 years of thinking about it would make that transition of him going to college a little easier, but it does not.
Maybe I haven’t adjusted to the idea because the intervening 3 years have been filled with turmoil for Marty. Marty’s panic attacks, a return to homeschooling, and the roller coaster ride of him developing OCD, getting diagnosed, and learning to cope with it have been the focus of my job as a mom. All that just overshadowed the normal growing up and getting ready for college. Or, maybe there simply is no way to really be ready to send your oldest child off to college.
Taking this journey with Marty has taught me so much. It has shown me some of the things we did right as parents and it has shown me where I have made some rather large mistakes. But, more importantly, taking this journey with Marty has shown me that my boy, our boy, is strong. He is resilient. He has it within him to overcome a lot. I am so proud of him. I just have to remember that he doesn’t always need us to help him. Sometimes he needs me to give him that encouraging shove so he can figure it out on his own.
In only 11 days, my wake up call comes due. Vic and I will drive Marty up to Lenoir-Rhyne, help him move in, and drive away. It’s been three years and I’m still not sure I’m ready.
I love you, Marty. I can’t wait to see the wonderful things your future includes.