The Kindness Within

Ladies and gents (well, I’m assuming there are a few gents out there reading), I had a lesson reinforced today. This lesson is one I know many of us in the ALI community forget and probably need to be reminded of from time to time. I know when we were in the midst of all of our losses, I would mentally beat myself up and heap the blame on my own shoulders. Frankly, it was far to easy to do and not a damned productive way to spend my energy. The brilliant Dave Hingsburger of Rolling Around In My Head said he has “worked really hard for many years towards the idea of safe places and safe harbours, of sanctuary. But what good is a safe place without when there isn’t a safe place within?” His work is with and for the disabled but I think we can all learn a lesson here. When we expend so much energy beating ourselves up (often over something we don’t control), we are denying ourselves that safe harbor, that place of retreat. Please go over and read about Ruby’s Smile and relearn the lesson we all should hold dear.

8 Responses to The Kindness Within
  1. Dave Hingsburger
    August 2, 2010 | 4:28 am

    Thanks for linking to this post. Sometimes I write these things and don’t know if they really make sense. You have the power to affirm others, I hope you, often affirm yourself.

  2. WiseGuy
    August 2, 2010 | 5:39 am

    What a lovely thought indeed. One can escape everything but one’s own self.

    Plus, I WANT WANT WANT BlogHer pics….Ok? Puhlllllease..

  3. Kakunaa
    August 2, 2010 | 7:22 am

    This was fantastic and I needed it today. Thank you! And I am on board with wanting pics! If I can’t be there, i’d love to see it!

  4. DaisyGal
    August 2, 2010 | 10:13 am

    wow, indeed, it’s a lesson we really have to relearn over and over again. To be good to ourselves, esp when we’re in the middle of a hard time.

    (see you Friday…are you as excited as I am …;)

  5. Mrs.Spit
    August 2, 2010 | 2:11 pm

    thanks for reposting this!

  6. Alana
    August 2, 2010 | 8:46 pm

    Catching up…

    –Thanks for the link…I love his idea of a safe “place of retreat.” How important!

    –Rhy’s blogher poem was AWESOME! And I’m with the other commenters, can’t wait to read about it and see your pics so I can attend vicariously!

    –Your play-time photos of your boys were cool. I especially like the chess set pic.

    –I’m adding the “Teacher’s Lane” book to my to-read list. Sounds great!

    –Lastly, your sisterhood card was very sweet. How wonderful that you have such a strong relationship with your friend! 🙂

  7. sara
    August 2, 2010 | 9:43 pm

    You’re so right. It’s so easy to be so hard on ourselves – we can be our own worse enemies. We do so well at avoiding others causing us harm, but we don’t think to avoid beating ourselves up. Thanks for sharing!

  8. Mrs. Gamgee
    August 3, 2010 | 10:25 am

    It was important for me to read this today.

    Because I have internalized so much of this journey, I have been finding it hard to accept help now that things appear to be going well. I was super hesitant to let my mom pay for a crib, because I didn’t want her to spend her money on ‘a baby that might not happen’. And don’t even get me started on the idea of the shower a co-worker is planning. But, I know that place of hope, sanctuary… it is there. I think sometimes I just lock myself out of it.

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