There are days I seriously wonder about the intelligence and general mental competence of our dog Jack. Well, it’s not really his intelligence I wonder about but he definitely makes me shake my head at him on a frequent basis. Imagine a dog stuck permanently in his teenage years and you have Jack.
As sweet and kind and patient as he is, he is also scattered and spazzy and sometimes doesn’t seem to have a clue. Tonight, he had one of those moment. We had let the dogs out and, as seems to be their MO, they started barking a short while later…let me in,let me in. Well, wouldn’t you know it but about 10 minutes after that, Jack came over to me, dancing around like a visit outdoors was necessary, and demanded to go back out. So, after some bitching about his indecisiveness, I got up to let him out. Normally, all it takes when he’s like that is for me to ask him “Do you want to go out?” and he is off like a shot to the back door. Not this time. He took off but then he stopped about halfway there. I kept walking and tried to get him to go out but he just kept giving me the “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about” look. As soon as I gave up and came back in to the living room to sit down, Jack started the dance and whine, I must go out routine. This time he really did go out but I came back in muttering about the damn dog being a few nuggets short of a Happy Meal or a few bricks shy of a load. Marty heard me and was vastly amused and that got me thinking.
What is your favorite funny way of saying someone is clueless?
So far I’ve come up with…
- a few nuggets short of a Happy Meal
- a few cokes short of a six pack
- a few brick shy of a load
- a few ways short of a bulb