The Cat is on Crack…

a tale from the pre-apocalypse winter season…

DSCN3042 cuSee this face…this sweet, peaceful face…this face is a LIE. This face lulls you into a false sense of security and then he strikes. This face belongs to a cat who is on crack. This face belongs to a cat with a secret stash hidden somewhere.

The other night, I was back in the boys’ room and I heard a noise. I don’t even know how to describe the noise except it sounded like a cross between a cat’s meow and the bellow of a water buffalo. The noise was quickly followed by what sounded like a thundering herd running down the hallway and then some banging and crashing in the foyer. By the time I got down the hall to check on what the hell was going on, Noodle had turned into a whirling dervish and was chasing his own tail. He spun and spun and spun until he actually managed to fall over from apparent dizziness. After a brief half-second pause, Noodle took off running again…bouncing off and over and under anything that might be in his way.

NoodleWithTree lgCrack kitten has since began a love affair with the Christmas tree. Sure, it started innocently enough…a few rubs here, paws wrapped around the branches there…but, it quickly progressed to an all out obsession. I’ve lost track of the number of times we’ve chased him or dragged him out of the tree. He’s not even subtle about it. Most cats figure out that you aren’t too happy after the first or second time you drag them out of the tree. Those that don’t, they figure it out after you spank them for climbing the tree, but not Noodle. No, my life couldn’t be that simple. Noodle has decided he doesn’t care if we don’t want him in the tree. He doesn’t care if we are sitting and watching him. Come hell or DSCN3084 lghigh water, Noodle has decided to climb that tree. You’ll be sitting there peacefully and the branches will start to shake as he winds his way through the tree. Hell, crack kitten isn’t even subtle about how he starts his jaunts through the tree. The other morning, he came tearing into the room at warp 9, ran under the tree, and jumped straight up into the tree. I swear he has a vertical leap that would make Spud Webb proud. And, just a day or two ago, he took his love affair to new heights…literally. My DSCN3085 lgtree, my beautiful tree is close to 9 feet tall and I found crack kitten about 3/4 of the way up the tree. So far, crack kitten has been lucky and he hasn’t broken any decorations. Sure, he’s removed them from the tree to play with them but his guardian angel has kept him from breaking any yet.

Pray for my sanity and my tree. I’d really like both to make it through the Christmas Season intact.

While you’re at it, share a funny holiday story with me. Maybe I can laugh about them instead of cringing every time the crack kitten runs through the room.

10 Responses to The Cat is on Crack…
  1. erika
    December 22, 2012 | 6:05 am

    Your kitty pics crack me up! ours would totally do the same:)
    Thank you so much for visiting my site! Happy ICLW#51

  2. Aramis
    December 22, 2012 | 9:45 am

    Hi from ICLW! This absolutely cracks me up…and reminds me of this:

    I love his little head poking out of the tree, like he’s a little crack-kitty ornament.
    Aramis recently posted..In under the wireMy Profile

  3. Wendy
    December 22, 2012 | 9:47 am

    LOVE your crack kitty! I have one, too, but thankfully, he’s not into the tree. However, they all 3 (yes, 3 cats and we have 3 dogs, too) LOVE the train table where the Polar Express is set up. We’ve realized that having the train WHIZ by them at warp 9 a with the whistle blaring helps keep them in check.

    Merry Christmas!
    Wendy recently posted..Newtown: A Week LaterMy Profile

  4. Battynurse
    December 22, 2012 | 12:04 pm

    Lol, he’d give Annabelle a run for her money. Have you tried the squirt bottle? I have all my non breakable ornaments around the bottom on the bottom of the tree and Annabelle has pulled those off and chewed in the cords a little but thankfully no climbing. Years ago though I had a great big fat tree and as I was taking it down in January I noticed white tufts of fur up fairly high in the inner branches from one of the cats.

  5. Erin
    December 22, 2012 | 6:10 pm

    Hi from ICLW! Your post reminded me of my old cat Comet who loved to bat at the ornaments on the tree. I’m pretty sure he tried to climb it a few times too. Although his famous climb was right after he got de-clawed, my parents let him out of his carrier and he bolted halfway up the curtains. Thing is, he only had his back claws so he fell backwards! That became family legend in our house, it was so funny. So just think, your crack kitty is getting on your nerves now but someday you will look back at this year as a happy memory 🙂
    Erin recently posted..11 weeks, 4 daysMy Profile

  6. Shelly
    December 22, 2012 | 6:56 pm

    I seems like cats and Christmas trees are the big talk of the month! I love that you got photos of your “sweet” kitty inside the tree!!! 🙂
    Shelly recently posted..I remember hating when people would tell me I looked so youngMy Profile

  7. Jen
    December 26, 2012 | 12:50 pm

    ALL kittens are on crack. That’s just a fact of nature! My boys are all too big to climb the tree, thank goodness, but one likes to hide under the tree skirt and swat at anyone who walks by. We call him the Murder Kitten because he’s so cute and vicious.
    Jen recently posted..Merry Christmas To AllMy Profile

  8. Azara
    December 26, 2012 | 9:30 pm

    Haha! There’s no reasoning with a kitten! I used to try spraying ours in the face with water, as suggested on cat websites. Not only did it not deter her, she seemed to think it was some kind of fun new game and would frolic around happy as a clam. Really the only thing that settled her down was time :).

    Visiting from ICLW.
    Azara recently posted.."Families are like fudge…My Profile

  9. Nasreen
    January 9, 2013 | 7:28 am

    Did the tree survive your kitten? He looks so cute in there but I’m sure it was nervewracking wondering if he was going to send it toppling!
    Nasreen recently posted..Nutella Muffins with Cinnamon Sugar (and Eggnog!)My Profile

  10. Jenny Ford
    January 17, 2013 | 5:36 pm

    HA! Maybe he was showing off for the tree? Like he was courting it or something? You never saw any funny business after dark did you??
    Jenny Ford recently posted..BIG NEWS! Sugar Loco takes on the Windy CityMy Profile

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