Breaking Radio Silence

and Giving Thanks…

I find myself wanting to apologize for being away for so long but that seems so self-important and more than a little vainglorious. Instead, I’ll just say thank you to all of you who’ve checked up on me and investigated my radio silence. Holy hell, I can’t believe I only posted once this past month.

My only excuse for not writing this past month is that I think I finally reached my breaking point and I have been totally overwhelmed. My house has been flattened by the 2012 version of the plague. I swear to God, we are on the third pass of this coughing, snotting illness from hell. We just can’t get rid of it. This was really just the final straw.

Around the end of October, I was visiting with a high school friend. Even though we’ve talked a few times over the past few years, we haven’t really shared the details of our lives over this past year. She asked me how things have been going and the first words out of my mouth were “Everything’s pretty good right now but it’s been a year from hell.” While these words were coming out of my mouth, my brain was doing it’s imitation of a double take. My brain was thinking Holy Shit…it really has been a year from hell. How did I not realize this. Of course, my friend asked me what had happened over the year and the whole time I was listing the activities of the past year, my internal monologue was just repeating Holy Shit, Holy Shit, Holy Shit

  • from September 2011 – December 2011, we had 10 people, 3 dogs, and 4 cats living in my house. While I do not regret helping my friends at all, it was a stressful situation.
  • October 2011: My mom destroyed her shoulder in a freaky accident involving a balance board and had to have a total shoulder replacement. She is still undergoing physical therapy today.
  • early November 2011 – early January 2012: Marty had a freaky reaction to his allergy medicine, couldn’t walk for a while, and took forever to deal with the after effects.
  • late February 2012 – late April 2012: Marty had a 2 month long migraine involving total light and sound sensitivity. It was HELL. Imagine trying to keep an energetic 6 year old calm and quiet for almost 2 months. It can’t be done.
  • Summer 2012 wasn’t bad.
  • September 2012: poor Marty has another issue he is dealing with and it is interfering with school. It is something he will overcome but, in the meantime, I am totally stressed out about it and I feel like pure shit because once again my poor boy can’t seem to catch a break.
  • September 2012: Joey enters middle school and has a really tough time adjusting to the realities of the responsibilities of middle school classwork and life.
  • over the course of 2012: Vic’s diabetes continues to give him hell. He is dealing with a lot of pain because of peripheral neuropathy and, because of all the complications, we make the decision to pursue gastric bypass surgery to improve his health.
  • October – November 2012: our house decides that 40 yrs is it’s life expectancy and starts shedding parts like a hot air balloonist throwing weight overboard to try and gain altitude. The bitch of a house has demanded 2 new toilets, a new central heating system, and a new air conditioner in less than 2 months.
  • all of November 2012: we have played host to the 2012 version of the plague. It’s the end of November and I’m still coughing. A combination of a respiratory illness and asthma is hell.

I’ve also come to realize that when I get overwhelmed, truly overwhelmed, I tend to withdraw and that isn’t good for me. When I withdraw and don’t write and talk about what is going on, I get depressed. Tomorrow, I am officially going to start my reclaim my life, reclaim my happiness campaign and I’ll start it by telling you about our fabulous Thanksgiving and the incredible memories we made.

Thanks for putting up with my whinge, my radio silence, and thanks for caring enough to check up on me.

Peace out and I’ll see you tomorrow.

11 Responses to Breaking Radio Silence
  1. Mrs. Gamgee
    November 28, 2012 | 1:45 am

    Soooo very glad to hear from you! And yes, you and your family have certainly been through hell this year! Praying that things start going right for you guys pretty damn quick.

    And this years round of the crud/plague truly sucks ass. I’ve had it for a month and I’m still not completely over it. Ugh! Feel better real soon!

  2. StacieT
    November 28, 2012 | 2:07 am

    I am so glad to see your post. Hope you guys catch a break soon and feel better! This has been a crappy year for you guys. 🙁

    Ugh. The withdrawl. I can totally relate because I do that, too. It is like I pull in to regroup. It isn’t good for me either as I tend to get a bit depressed also. Sigh.

  3. Justine
    November 28, 2012 | 3:03 am

    I’m so glad to see you post! Sending love and light … this HAS been one hellish year for you. Here’s hoping 2013 is better!

    And … I know what you mean … I turn off, too. My blog has been way too quiet these past few months, because I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed … first my mother falling and moving in, then Sandy, then my mother in law, then ww3, then the 1.5 year mark of unemployment … I am looking forward to normalcy.

    *hugs*
    Justine recently posted..Perfect Moment Monday: Turkey Trot 5KMy Profile

  4. Christine Seip
    November 28, 2012 | 5:41 am

    My dear friend,I wouldn’t wish a year of hell on you, because I love you too much. However, you well know, I’ve had my hell years (or decades). I promise you that you will come out of this stronger and more resilient. That will be your gift after living through this. In the meantime, remember those of us out here who love you very much. I’m just a phone call away. <3

  5. Venessa
    November 28, 2012 | 8:38 am

    Glad to hear from you! I knew you had been dealing with the plague but was still wondering if all was ok. I pray that this next year is a lot easier on you.

  6. Mel
    November 28, 2012 | 9:47 am

    Oh sweetie, that is A LOT on one plate. I hope you all get better soon. And that 2013 is much calmer.

  7. Shelly
    November 28, 2012 | 10:01 am

    It has been a very trying year for you! It has been a tough one this year for us as well. We were recently down with the plague and I felt like we would never get better. Ironically, it was a good thing. It forced our whole family to slow down and rest. We spent a lot of time together talking and laughing. In between the fevers, coughs and body aches, we truly bonded. Sadly, I still don’t have a Christmas tree or any decorations up. I am still searching for my complete energy to come back. I sure hope you all can be healthy to start the upcoming new year. I pray you all will have a wonderful year. Keep your head up! ((hugs))
    Shelly recently posted..COVERGIRL Blastflipstick Review #gotitfreeMy Profile

  8. Kristy
    November 28, 2012 | 10:11 am

    From ICLW..
    So sorry you had to go through all of this! It sounds overwhelming just reading it. Hoping the plague leaves your home soon!
    Kristy recently posted..CD20: Trigger me this…My Profile

  9. Lori Lavender Luz
    November 28, 2012 | 11:42 am

    Oh, my. When you put it all in one place like that it is SO overwhelming! You are a rock, being there for your family and friends (and house) to support and heal and fix.

    May 2013 be full of happier things for all of you.

    Hugs!
    Lori Lavender Luz recently posted..Worded Wednesday: My family went to the 1920sMy Profile

  10. Battynurse
    November 29, 2012 | 11:28 am

    Good to hear from you and hoping the coming year will be better. It does sound like there has been a lot. Hang in there!

  11. […] issues have been a huge downer across the board. I know I covered this all before when I wrote Breaking Radio Silence and I’m really not trying to rehash old stuff. It’s just that I’m still […]

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