Be an Asset to the Collective

Greetings! I am excited to be guest posting here today while Kristin is living it up BlogHer ’11! I’m Kathy from  Four of a Kind  (formerly Three of a kind working on a full house…) and I write about my family’s five year journey through secondary infertility and loss, as well as parenting and life since then. I wish I was with Kristin and so many other awesome bloggers in San Diego right now, but since that was not to be this year, I was honored when Kristin asked me to write something here on Dragondreamer’s Liar.

Last weekend I had a really bad day in my little corner of the IT world, as I shared about in this post. It took a few kind and clever guys from iYogi tech support in India, a few hours of my life and a lot of “good karma” to help me get our home computers running well again. Late last Sunday night, while I was watching one of the iYogi tech support staff work his magic, as he remotely controlled my desktop and laptop computers, I decided to see what was happening on Twitter.

As I scrolled through my Twitter-feed that night I happened to notice an interchange between Kristin (from the wonderful blog you are on right now) and Kym (from The Smartness) and decided to join their conversation… Kym was sharing about it being the last night before she returned to school (she is a teacher) and Kristin had quoted non-other than Soul II Soul’s “Back to Life,” taunting Kym (with love) about it being time to return to reality! Kym teased Kristin about getting that song stuck in her head and then I proceeded to share some of my favorite Soul II Soul tunes to add to the soundtrack on instant replay spinning around in Kym’s head as she tried to wind down on the eve a new school year.

In our tweeting back and forth that night, I asked Kym if she knew of my favorite Soul II Soul song called “Get a Life” (see the lyrics below).

This thing called life
know what’s the meaning of the line
tell me
well it’s like dreaming of your goals , ambitions feeling free
achieve what
what’s in your minds eye
this is what you should gain
Satisfaction becomes a shinning example
a test of a sample of a new race
that has ample supply of positivity
you mean flow
well like electricity
so
you see a clear way with no ambiguity
don’t you know

Whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
Elevate your mind
free your soul
well come on come on
feel the feeling let your body take control

Well don’t be afraid to experiment you know umm
go ahead you know and implement your ideas
your notions put them in motion
like the words the funki dreds have spoken to you
so listen up loud and clear
this is a word you must be aware of
What ya gonna do put it in your life tool

and that’s the meaning of life
Whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
And it goes on
Elevate your mind
free your soul
well come on come on
feel the feeling let your body take control

So there it is work it out for yourself
yeah , be selective be objective
be an asset to the collective
as you know you have to get a life

Whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
whats the meaning
whats the meaning of life
elevate your mind
free your soul
well come on come on
feel the feeling let your body take control
ah yeah

Kym replied to my tweet by quoting a line from “Get a Life.” Then I shared my favorite line from the song, “be selective, be objective, be an asset to the collective.” I have always thought that was such an inspiring and profound statement. I have also pondered what it means for me to “be an asset to the collective.”

As a blogger, especially in the Adoption, Loss and Infertility (ALI) Community, I believe that there are so many ways and opportunities for me (and all of us) to be an asset to our collective group of those who have found that our journeys to build and/or expand our families have not played out the way the hoped or dreamed that they would.

I am grateful to Kristin and so many other bloggers who have reached out to and supported me on my journey through infertility and loss over the years. Though so much of why I choose to write and share about my life and experiences on my blog is for me, I do really appreciate the chance to receive validation and feedback from others who understand and can relate to what I blog about. I also find it an honor and privilege, as a “wounded healer,” to try to reach out to and support others in our “collective.”

How about you? What does it mean to you “to be an asset to the collective?” How do you feel that you are an “asset” to our ALI Community and/or the other groups that you are part of and contribute your time, talent and treasure to in your life?

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts on this post. Thanks again to Kristin for inviting me to be here today. I hope that you are having a wonderful time at BlogHer `11 and can’t wait to hear (and read) all about it!

Whether or not you have been over there before, I would love for you to please visit me at my blog Four of a Kind anytime. I really appreciate your comments and feedback on what I wrote here today, as well as on my blog entries over there any day!

5 Responses to Be an Asset to the Collective
  1. Lavender Luz
    August 5, 2011 | 11:35 am

    I love the term “wounded healer” and I kind of see myself that way, too. I realize that in the IF community, I can represent to a new-to-IF-er both her worst fear (I’ll never conceive and bear a baby) and also her best hope (but it can turn out beautifully anyway).

    I agree, Kathy, that both you and Kristin are assets to the collective. Big time!

  2. mcpolish
    August 5, 2011 | 11:35 am

    Dude, I totally have “Back to life….back to reality!” stuck in my head. GAH! 😉

    While I’m not a member of the ALI collective, I do try and be an asset to whatever groups or communities I interact with, and be supportive. Not sure I always succeed, but you learn by doing, right?

  3. Once A Mother
    August 5, 2011 | 11:40 am

    I think the best way to be an asset to the community, is to be honest about your own experience. Not to sugar coat things, or omit things, because in being honest, others on the same path can find someone who they can identify with.

  4. Kir
    August 5, 2011 | 11:56 am

    I too, loved hearing “WOUNDED HEALER” I think that for many of us, that’s how we see ourselves and it’s a term that fits.

    I have always said that I love being the “SOFT PLACE FOR PEOLE IN MY LIFE TO LAND” and I stand behind that…that my gift to the collective is giving them my time, my ear, my shoulder, my strenght when they have none.

    What a good post. 🙂

  5. St Elsewhere
    August 6, 2011 | 2:40 am

    Wow, you just introduced me to a great new song.

    Kristin is a huge asset to the ALI community. I have been touched by her and the magical pervasiveness of consideration in this community.

    Am I an asset? LOL, I don’t know. But like Once A Mother said, being honest with it all is the best thing one can do.

    Be good.

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